Tired

Chest tightening gasping for air. Stomach aching , Palms sweating the feeling of fear is invading. The nightmare has been awoken. Bipolar in overdrive while depression sinking. Heart is breaking as my mind is racing. Self destruction is creeping while the feelings are racing. Feelings of brokenness on top of failure. Mixed in with disappointment and a  side of crazy. Mixed together and forced down my throat. Chocking and gasping for air. Begging and pleading for it to stop. But its never ending. Its a constant in my life, like the air we breath. I fight so hard and no one really sees. They see me as an easy target, someone who won’t say no. Giving my and always pleasing. Don’t they see I’m tired? Tired of fighting this daily battle. Do they not know how tired it is to fight something that is within you that wants to kill you? You can’t see it but you damn sure can feel it. Maybe then they realize it’s not that I can’t say no or that I am a people pleasure. I’m drained and broken. Mind is on the brinks of snapping. Please shed lightly I pray but they know no end. I don’t know one soul that isn’t cold. I get knock down and I raise again. This time I’m unsure if I’ll be able or if I even want to. sleep sounds good, for eternity even better. At this moment I wouldn’t care. up above on a soft cloud or down below in the heat. to tired to finish this…….to Broken…..to……everything!!!!
